"sex eyes"

answer me this: what is so sexy about sex eyes? i mean think about it...who came up with the idea of turning your head to the side and squinting as if you can barely see who you're looking at to indicate that you are sexually interested in the person you met eyes with? i mean that is so lazy! and what if you don't mean the same thing? like what if the other person really can't see? that would be awkward! i mean you go over to seal the deal and they look at you like, huh? well i got the remedy for all that. lets take notes from the american alligator. here's an animal that leaves nothing to chance by elimnating all misconceptions. here's how it works:

1. Snout-touching: that's right. walk up to the person that caught your eye and rub your nose on theirs
2. bellowing: go up to them and let out a huge Chewbacca-esque yell to let them know you want them...bad!
3. coughing: go ahead, cough on 'em! it's sexy!
4. back-rubbing: not with your hands. use your back to rub their back.
5. circling: you can freestyle your way through this part. trace circles around their face with your finger, walk in circles around them while spinning, anything to get the attention of the one you want!
6. bubble-blowing: if you have allergies or a cold, blow snot bubbles. if they have a drink, blow bubble in their drink with your nose! awesome!
7. swim together:after all that work, invite them for a swim. if they accept, you have officially closed the deal. if not, don't be discouraged becoz they are sure to remember you forever!

remember these methods are fool-proof. they have been working in nature for thousands upon thousands of years! so try something new. don't be lazy and be sure that they know you mean business!

Dom
if nobody feels you, i feels you, feel me?
be easy coz life is hard...