dear dom

dom,
omg i feel terrible! i got a gig in california this past weekend and while in town i decided to hit a party that my friend was throwing. long story short, i get sick, need somewhere to crash and my ex girlfriend just happens to be at the party. i'm thinking, "cool okay. just crashing til i leave town in the morning." so we head back to her place, i crash (in her bed) and go to sleep. she wakes me up about 10 that night wanting me to have sex with her. did i mention she knows i'm with someone else? bad move for even being there but i was ill! anyway, i decline and go back to sleep, wake up in the morning, grab my things and head to the airport to go home. i check my phone this morning and i see pix of this naked chick i have no idea who she is! i look further and there's outgoing pix of a supposed lesbian named "alexis" from my phone! so i call my ex and she just laughs saying "i had to get some fun from somebody." wtf? so now there's a poor lesbian out there that she conned into sending naked pix in exchange for fake pix that thinks i'm some lesbian named alexis and on top of that she has my phone number! this is not a good day...
>mike b.

mike,
hopefully she will understand. that's really all i can say. oh yeah, stay away from your ex! she's bad news...i'm just saying.

Dom
if nobody feels you, i feels you, feel me?
be easy coz life is hard...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.1

hey dom,

i'm kinda pissed right now, but i'm trying to stay in my place. let me know if in the wrong:
my sister has been dating this guy for quite some time. in fact they're engaged. i've always found the guy a little quirky and immature because he's older than my sister by 10 years (31 and 21) but he according to my sister, he treats her really good. well, it has come to my attention (via a mutual friend) that he has been doing sexual favors for his boss for money. he also has been selling naked pictures of himself on the internet. did i mention that his boss is a man and the sites are for gay porn? i have threatened the guy, telling him that if he doesn't find a way to break it off with my sister, that i'm going to tell her about his dirty little secrets (not to mention break his face). the only problem is, he knows she won't believe me because i made up lies to get her to break up with her last fiance. i've told our parents and they seem disgusted with me. they like the guy. i just have no proof other than the fact that he admitted it to me when i confronted him. my sister swears she has not had sex him at all and that they have bonded on a different level, but i'm afraid she's lying. i don't want her to die from contracting HIV, but i don't want to lose my sister over some bad blood. what should i do?

>brian r. (27)

Dom
if nobody feels you, i feels you, feel me?
be easy coz life is hard...

hey dom,

kay. here it goes. last night, my dad and i had our worst fight ever. afterward, i had bruises on my arm, face, and throat where he grabbed me, slapped me, and tried to strangle me. ...yeah. i wanna die.
>nancy

Dom
if nobody feels, you i feels you, feel me?
be easy coz life is hard...

hi dom

i'm feeling kinda down coz there's this guy that i like and he keeps rejecting me. i bluntly told him how i felt, gave him an ultimatum, and he didnt even have the decency to respond. then a week later he asks me how my day was going in a text message. seriously? it's like he's stringing me along and i don't appreciate it. so i decided to cut ties with him. only thing is i really liked him and it hurts bad to be rejected like that. am i overreacting?
>deysha p.

hey dom

i have something i wanna talk about. there's this guy i was dating. i broke up with him because of the massive amount of drugs he was doing. meth. coke. prescription drugs. he blamed me for his increased usage. i was in love with him. still got love for him and i don't wanna see him get hurt. but i was killing myself staying with him. i lost a bunch of weight. lost a lot of hair. my sleeping habits changed. it was a mess. so i gave him an ultimatum. me or the drugs. he laughed it off at first until i left. then i turned him into a facility where he could rehab. he calls me from there saying that he's suffering and that i'm a bitch for doing it. it's only been 18 days. i tell him to hang in there but he's making me feel so bad. tell me i did the right thing.

>tasha

domunique.blogspot.com

hey peeps,
for those of you writing in about the blog and those of you new to the blog, i'll point out a few segments, as it were, that are featured on this site:

"just listen"is designed to let you vent. whatever it is, let's get it off your chest. even if you're not looking for a response and you just wanna talk out loud, hit me up on my email and put "just listen" in the subject line.

"community heroes" are real people that deserve real recognition. write in to share what makes members in your community, real heroes.

"random thoughts" you might see me go on a rant about random things on here that i might see in the world etc. so just bear with me lol but if you got some random thoughts, please share them.

also there is "community issues" "random pix" (where i see something unexpected and write a fictional news story about it) and "where's dom" (for when i go m.i.a.) anyway just hit me up. the email is:

domuniquedduhent@gmail.com

if nothing further, i'm out!

Dom
if nobody feels you, i feels you, feel me?
be easy coz life is hard...

dear dom

i'm kinda sad right now. my wife and i have been trying to have children for years. the chances of us having a baby naturally was so slim that our doctor suggested that we looked into artificial medical procedures. the methods are so expensive that health insurance wouldn't cover it because it's not a necessary medical procedure. and on teacher's wages, it's definitely nothing we could pay for without saving. after discussion and careful planning, we saved enough to try the procedure once and if that didn't work, we were going to adopt. so we tried, and my wife didn't get pregnant. however, our doctor convinced us to try one more time and sure enough the second time she got pregnant! i was so excited to meet my firstborn as i watched my wife's belly grow. about a month out from her expected due date, my wife began to worry because she hadnt felt the baby kick. we went to the hospital and they induced her labor to save the baby. sadly, instead of celebrating, we signed a death certificate and started planning a funeral. now that it's over, we are without the child we always wanted and the means to adopt. it kinda put things in prospective for me this week. with all the talk of invasive abortions that people opt for because they wrecklessly live their life, and there are good people out there that wish they had a blessing to call their own. makes you wonder why good things happen to bad people. i just needed to talk to someone who has been in my shoes before.
thanks dom. a friend of mine refered me to your blog.

>e.c.

hi dom

i'm writing to you because i'm in a mess. i'm wasting away emotionally and i don't know what to do. you see...i fell in love with a business partner. i know, i know. it's totally against the rules but thats not the half of it. he's amazing. we complement each other really well. what he can't do, i can and visa versa.the chemistry is crazy. never felt like this before. i think about him everyday and it sux that we can't just have a normal relationship because...i'm married. and the guy i'm married to is a really sweet guy it's just we have absolutely nothing in common outside of the kids. we tried and we've had our issues that now exist as trust issues. so, i told my business partner that i'm ready to call it quits with my husband. so we started making plans to meet up places and even move in together. but now its like he's rejecting me. we went from talking everyday to whenever he feels like it. he doesn't tell me he misses me anymore. doesn't say he loves me. we don't talk about the future like we used to. everything he says is law just because he's nine years older than me. i go out of my way for him a lot and he doesn't even notice. i felt a change in our relationship when he said something and i expressed my opinion and he called me an egocentric ass for stating my opinion and hung up on me. now when we tak it's strictly business. and the timing sucks because i'm in a little rut right now and the one person that made me forget about all my problems doesn't even want to be bothered with me anymore. i just want to go back to being us. if i can't have that, i don't want anything at all. i know he's going through some things too but, i just wanna be there for him even if he's not there for me. if he reads this, i just want him to know i love him no matter what.
> "ms. lovesick"

hey dom,

The 'friend' thing is spreading. My friends on [a writer's site] are even doing it now, which is part of the reason I really want to leave this site. I don't need more of this right now. This has been my escape for two years but it's just like my real life now. I am sick of trying to be helpful and give feedback and be there for people, only to receive false promises. They only talk to me when they want something, when something of their's has been posted and they want me to comment. But when I try to see if they will read something of mine, suddenly I'm being selfish. I. Am. Sick. Of. It!

so dom,

I am the discard friend. I have known this since fifth grade so it's not a surprise or anything, but I'm really getting sick of it. My friends only want to hang out with me when they have no one else, which is what inspired the poem "Bad Friends". Take this one friend, for example. Last year, she made friends with some other girl. End of the year, said girl quit talking to her. So my friend starts talking to me out of the blue because the whole time she was talking to the other girl, she ignored me. So beginning of this year, we are friends. Other girl, let's call her OG, comes in again and they make up. My friend, we shall call her MF, decides she doesn't need me anymore and so quits talking to me. When we have plans, she cancels, saying she can't go. Then I hear she has been hanging out with OG instead. She can't call me or txt me because she's doing it with OG. So then they start fighting again, two weeks ago, and suddenly she's all buddy-buddy again. WTF? I'm a person too, should I be treated like this? They don't need me. I guess I don't need them. But it would be nice if there was actually someone out there willing to be a true friend and not just use me when they felt like it. Whenever I say something, they call me jealous. I say "it's not that you're with other people, it's how you treat me when you're with them" and they huff and it just makes things worse. What do I do?

hi dom

my best friend for two years decided suddenly at the beginning of the school year that she did not want to be my friend anymore. She didn't give a reason, just ended it abruptly. Then she called sporadically and confused me because she kept saying she was sorry and then she'd ignore me for another few months before she would call again. Then she calls at the beginning of this month and decides, "hey, I'm going to sit by you in Japanese class" and so I say "Well...okay" because I can't stop her anyway, and I don't want to fight. It's too draining. So I agree. Now she just talks to me when she wants something and I'm confused, mostly because...well...I don't think I want to be her friend. I've gotten used to being without her and so now I don't know how to act around her, so it would just be easier if we weren't friends. But another friend of mine wants us to become friends again, so I'm torn. What do I do?

Dom
if nobody feels you, i feels you, feel me?
be easy coz life is hard...

hey dom,

i'm in trouble. i'm pregnant and i don't know how my mother is going to react. i don't want to tell her, but on the other hand we have a great relationship and i don't want to ruin that by keeping a secret that may come out later if something goes wrong. i'm 19 so i'm old enough to make a decision to keep it or not. i've decided not to keep it. the guy i'm pregnant by is not my boyfriend and i'm not the only one he's sleeping with. i'm okay with that because i'm single and he's not my man so i get what i want and move on. but i've never been through this before. i'm only a few weeks pregnant so it's not like i'm attached to this thing growing inside me. i just want someone to be there when i go through with this. i guess i answered my own question. i need to talk with my mother. thanks for listening.

>teri e.

hey dom,

i went to college out of state so my girlfriend and i decided on a long distance relationship. i trust her, but its like she picks me up and drops me when she wants. we talk on the phone everyday...well we used to. lately she's been doing her thing, going out with friends. that i don't mind. but what's so hard about sending a text just to say hey when she knows we wont get to talk? thanks bro.
>g. nixon

hi dom unique

I write because I need some help with this life. I am lost because my daughter doesn't speak to me or bring me my grandchildren. I am a person of middle age and I know I have done everything in my hands to let her know how much I love her. I don't know if someone is turning her mind upside down but I am desperate and I need some words from you and all my friends. Please help me with this. Some words can be of much help now.

I know you can tell me something!
>m.



m.,

It saddens me to hear that your daughter would do things to hurt her own mother. Grandchildren are the best gift in the world so I know how much yours mean to you. Try this: the worst thing we could suggest is that she is doing something wrong even though it may be true. But, in order to make peace, we sometimes have to take on the bad guy role in order to become the peacemaker. So call her. If she does not answer, leave a message with the following phrases in your own words: "I was calling to see how things were going. I feel that we may have ended up on bad terms somehow and whatever I did, I do apologize for that. Feel free to call me whenever you get a chance." Notice I never used the word "you". People get defensive when we say "I feel this because you..." Give her at least two days to respond before you lovingly call to check up on your grandchildren. Wish her good health. And never throw the blame by saying "you did this or that" etc. Go to bed knowing that you reached out. Children never forget a positive up-bringing. She will break and call you back to make amends. When she does, remember to listen and let the past be just that...the past.

Best regards,

Dom
if nobody feels you, i feels you, feel me?
be easy coz life is hard...

hi dom unique

First of all I really enjoy your writing and I try to learn from everyone. I never stop trying and always try harder. I hope you have read my book which I will summit soon. I love critics because that's how I get better.

Well its not easy living this life and trying to write. Writing controls my emotions day by day.
I have two daughters, one is already married with four wonderful children and a still have a teenager who just turned nineteen. Its hard trying to cope with my daughter's emotions and her boyfriend. She has a boyfriend who is just finishing his master as an engineer and she is just in her second year of college. Its hard because I feel I have just started all over again in the raising situation. I already like I said have a married one and I am a grandmother, that's why I refer to myself as starting all over.

Its hard, my husband is a diabetic and my youngest has low sugar levels and you know how emotions can change in a growing girl. She is smart and is still in the growing stage. Sometimes I feel so tired, but somehow I get up again and I start all over. Please tell me I am doing ok, I need to hear it from someone else. I enjoy your writing and I try to learn more from you.

Take care,
>R.


R.,
you're doing a fine job. i talk to young persons daily about how they wish they had someone to guide them on their way. you've done that. as you said, your daughter is in college. thats merely a dream for many. for example, where i grew up, the high school grad rate is still only 50%. terrible isnt it? alot of it stems from a lack of parental support. so in my book, you're doing an amazing job! parenting never ends. neither does growing up. some handle growing up better than others, but you'll see your younger daughter will do fine as long as she has your support. remember, though, you can't live for her. that alone should alleviate some stress for you. it doesnt mean u stop caring any less. you have to take care of yourself as well with all you have on your plate. so write often. even if you're getting your true thoughts down on paper. it's okay to reveal yourself sometimes. its very helpful. never go to bed with a heavy heart. know that each day, that you have done everything in your power, and learn to be happy with that. again, i'm here if you need me. you're doing great!

best regards,


Dom
if nobody feels you, i feels you, feel me?
be easy coz life is hard...

very intense

at age 14 i was raped multiple times, abused and used as a human punching bag, this continued until i got pregnant, the abuse stopped until i gave birth in a condo room at age 15.. then at age 16 my daughter who did not get a last name, was killed in front of me, we both had gone through molestations, rapings, cutting, abuse and more... but i was trying to save her and wasnt fast enough... i still have scars to this day, two years later. i was stabbed in the stomach the first time the guy (that was raping and abusing me) found out i was pregnant with his kid. i was too afraid to go to the police with my child because i didnt want them to take her from me. i tried telling the police but they laughed because i couldnt give an accurate description of the guy and couldnt provide them with enough information... so i was sent to a mental hospital. all this time i had friends that weren't in school helping me care for my daughter and trying to protect her and me because even my dad didnt believe me. all the councelors i saw refused to believe me and always were trying to get me to say i did all the damage to myself and that i never had a child. but to this day i still have items that belonged to her and i visit a cross i carved by hand myself even though its not by her actual grave. my house (where my daughter was burried) was sold and i am never to go there again... she was born July 2nd 2007, and died August 17th 2008. her first and middle name is and will always be Sofia Catalina.
>s.t.

hi dom

i just wanted to talk about how people yell and scream at you for basically just standing there. my mother does this often and this morning was ridiculus. she went nuts on me about a dog leash and brought up things that had nothing to do with finding a dog leash. she actually said that if i got addicted to drugs and died "oh gee thats too bad." i'm sure many people suffer from verbal abuse and that most people don't realize how painful those kinds of things are and they're usually done for very trivial reasons. words hurt as much as fist.
>melissa l.

dear dom,

First off, I want to start out by saying that you are a beautiful
writer. I've checked out your art on Webook and your blog is def
booked marked. Its good to see a young black man making moves like you
do.
You prob are asked this all the time but I am a urban fiction writer
trying to find my way into the game. Self publishing seems the way to
go given the odds, though submitting my work and getting denied doesnt
detour me from my dream of becoming a writer. I've researched the
pro's and con's of self publishing and although it is a great idea,
now and days it is hard to find money and time to put in the necessary
work to follow through. Income is tight and working full time with
plans to go back to school and juggling family leaves little time for
much else .. or so it seems. Could you pass a little wisdom my way on
how I can make it work ... or a few tips or something, because Im
still looking around as far as self publishing my book but I know that
a large part of that is networking .... advertising .... etc ... and I
just moved to a new city and Im kind of at a lost, though I really
want to dedicate as much of myself as I can to make my dream come true
:)
Thanks for listening!
>sholonda h.



Sholonda,
again, thank you for your kind words. i really appreciate it.
you're right, i do get questions all the time about how i made this self-pub thing work for me so i guess it's time i address it. remember this may not work for everyone, but this is how i made it work for me and what i do. something that most people don't know about me, is that i'm a family man and i leave very little to chance. i love what i do as a writer, but i'm realistic about my dream in that, this business is still entertainment. the entertainment industry is frugal and your success is really up to the fans. you're either hot...or you're not. so that being said, i hold down a full time, stable job, just like most of america out there; so i definitely feel you on balance and being pressed for time. one thing that has helped me is constant networking with everyone that i share similar interest with. i work with aspiring musicians, singers, poets, authors etc all from different genres. the more you get your name out there, the closer you are to getting your big break (six degrees of separation theory). one place to start is finding out what's hot in your area in the writing world. look for poetry cafes, spoken word cafes, book clubs, writing clubs, etc. i started out frequenting these places, performing pieces, networking until people started recognizing me by name. another tip, research, research, research...did i mention research? oh hahaha after you research, research some more. there are companies/individuals out there looking to promote, enjoy, read what you have to say. find those with like minds and network some more. i'll come back to this point in a sec. confidence is very important. to me it's number one. as you can see on my blog, i call myself the "writer of the year". on the surface, this statement might seem arrogant but really, if you know me, it stems from the confidence that i have in my abilities. it's a goal that i live everyday. writer of the year. i have my hand in a lot of different things, but i live, breathe, and live some more what i do...writing. i am comfortable with what i do. i perfect what i do daily. so therefore, i network (told you i'd come back to this) by emailing strangers in industries that line up with my goals. for example, i emailed a movie producer and told him about who i am and how i have an opportunity for him to further his career. the result? my first novel is being converted to a movie. you see? so what i hope you gain from this is confidence. confidence in what you do. knowledge. know that if you have time to read this email, you have time to send one to someone who may further your career or network with those who are doing the same. a friend. someone who knows what you're going through and has been there and is still there. i'm by no means a household name at this point...but i will be. and i never forget the name of a hard worker. keep writing so you can write your happy ending.

Dom
if nobody feels you, i feels you, feel me?
be easy coz life is hard...

hey dom

i'm a 24 yr old single mom that's back on the market and i've noticed that i've been on the prowl looking for that somebody but all i've been finding are losers. got any advice for a sista or some single friends just like you? hahaha holla at ya girl!
>stacey s.



stacey s.,
first, if you've noticed you're "on the prowl" trust me, others have too. if you meet a guy, get to know him. if he claims to be into you, then he should be able to tell you at least 5 things that set you apart from other women OUTSIDE of your physical features. if one of the first 3 things he says has something to do with your looks, he's superficial and everything he says after that, he's making up. (sorry playas) keep that in mind and don't push the issue. the right one will come around soon enough. take care of that little one.

Dom
if nobody feels you, i feels you, feel me?
be easy coz life is hard...

hey dom

a good friend of mine just joined a very dangerous gang and i dont know what to do. he's a good kid! idk what he's thinking! what should i say to him?
>brian p.


brian p.,
first off, if they are as good of a friend as u say, then he should have no prob having a heart to heart with u. talk to him. alone not with his new crowd of "friends". listen to his reasons why he joined a gang. none of them are good, so let him know if its attention and love he's looking for, he can find it in fam and in u. keep it real with your friend. i hope that helps. as long as he has a breath in his body, its not too late.

Dom
if nobody feels you, i feels you, feel me?
be easy coz life is hard...