sucky sex tips

so i'm flipping through this magazine, bored out of my mind and i come across these sex tips that are supposed to put the guy in the mood. the worse tips are coming from people with phd's.

sucky tip #1: "run your feet and toes up and down his legs, dragging your toenails lightly against his skin as you go." (ladies i dare you to put your feet on your man without getting kicked)

sucky tip #2: "wear a long necklace so it tickles his chest when you lean forward during girl-on-top." (let's talk this one out. naked girl-on-top. during sex. do you really think a guy needs to be tickled with a necklace?)

sucky tip #3: "over his boxers, put your open mouth against his penis. breathe out like you're trying to create steam." (wtf?)

sucky tip #4: "have sex with your hair wet, and whip it around to shower him with droplets of water." (why so i can feel like i'm having sex with a wet dog?)

sucky tip #5: "lick his eyelids, and then blow on your saliva." (uh...)

other sucky tips included: biting his nipples (no go), armpit insertion (weird), licking behind his knee (really?), oral from behind (didn't mike epps say something about that?), and foot jobs (pointless).

look...forget all the games coz ain't nothing like the real thing. i'm jus sayin.

Dom
if nobody feels you, i feels you, feel me?
be easy coz life is hard...